It takes two to tango. Hand washing is one of the recommended hygienic practices in this global coronavirus pandemic season but it takes two hands to wash each hand properly and satisfactorily. As I washed my hands I thought about the power of reciprocity. Each hand works hard to make sure the other hand is clean.
A story was told about the difference between heaven and hell. At the beginning, there is no difference between people in heaven and those in hell. They have the same kind of food and long spoons. The only difference is the mindset of the people. When food is brought to them, those in hell think it is competition. They want to eat all the food they can eat by themselves and for themselves. But the spoon is too long they cant get the food into their mouth, unfortunately. Those in heaven know the power of reciprocity so each one of them feeds the person opposite with the food and they are all fed. While the people in hell grow lean and emaciated, those in heaven grow plump and well nourished.
We are told that certain things are reciprocal. Let’s consider a few this moment: respect, love and friendship.
Respect is reciprocal. Everybody deserves respect and everybody loves to be respected. Sometimes the problem is not so much about cultural differences in what constitutes disrespect, but ones deliberate attempt to look down on another persons or certain person from certain places, color or creed. The world will be a better place when everybody makes conscious effort to respect the other. It is the duty of leaders to ensure that mutual respect is given its prime consideration within the organizational culture. Any and all acts of disrespect cannot be condoned because any disrespect to one threatens the respect for all.
Love is reciprocal. The good book advises us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Beyond telling people that you love them ( which is always a delight to hear from people that you actually love), you have to show it. Love is actually better shown than told. You cannot go about telling everybody that you love them but you can go about loving everybody. The problem is that love has been bastardized. If you tell a stranger you love him or her, the corruption in the world will twist and misinterpret it in ways that you didn’t intend. But little acts of love are all the people need for love to go round. In a world that is full of hatred, little acts of love (kindness) can make all the difference and make someone’s day. If you show me love and I show you love wouldn’t that be gracious and wouldn’t we both be happy? It is like the two hands that wash each other clean.
Friendship is reciprocal. Everybody needs friends. In a corrupt world we are now much more careful about who we actually identify as ‘friend’ but it still feels good to know that you have someone who got your back and whose back you got. But it takes two to tango. If I am always the one looking out for you and you are busy looking out for yourself, how long will it be before our friendship dies? It doesn’t do anybody good to have a bunch of people he thinks are his friends but when he needs a friend none of them is there for him. Nobody wants a fiend that is there making withdrawals without deposits. Joel Olsen said the ones that make the least deposits make the most withdrawals. That is not friendship, if anything that is fiend-ship and parasitism.
What do we do to parasites? We get rid of them by all means. Parasites are business people. Parasites are in it for what they get. Friendship is business but not business as in the parasitic usual. It is business that thinks ‘we’ and ‘us’ not ‘me’ and ‘mine’. It is a mutual business that is supposed to leave everybody better off and nobody worse off. Friendship is us understanding that what is good for me is good for you so if we have to share stuff, whether you are there or not I am required, by the spirit of friendship, to be fair and equitable. That is friendship and anytime I fail short of that expectation, friendship is compromised. Compromised friendship is betrayal, it is treachery, it is greed, it is avarice, it is murder, it is wickedness.
Think about the people you consider friends today. Begin with that one person you would go over and beyond to rescue and judge for yourself if they would go a mile for you . If their loyalty is doubtful, their friendship is possibly doubtful too. Maybe they want something from you. Find out what they want, give it to them and let them go. On this journey of life you need to travel light and one of those heavy loads you don’t want to carry along your way is the load of fake friends. Leaders understand this and they act promptly. Nothing changes unless you make the change. Be the change you want to see, because good friends make you operate at your Pareto Efficient State.
Love and Peace
@MezieOkolo
03/17/2020